Solutions to Feeling Lonely & Alone
What do you do when you are feeling alone and lonely?
Have you ever been surrounded by people and observed how they seem to be having fun, and yet you feel left out?
You’d like to feel like you fit in but you don’t know the solution to feeling alone and lonely.
You might even feel empty inside and out of place and don’t know how to connect.
Thoughts go through your mind like, “why am I so different from others who are having fun? Why does no one seem to value me or understand me? No one seems to really care.”
Does any of this sound familiar?
Do you identify with being with others and yet feeling isolated?
Here’s the truth: You are not alone.
Many have struggled with these feelings from time to time and have found it difficult to find the solution to feeling alone and lonely.
When you are alone you can feel isolated and disconnected and are unable to find the solution to feeling alone and lonely. In fact, you may even think there is no solution for you. I assure you that is not true.
When you are caught in a loneliness cycle you may think you are the only one who feels that way, but studies show that half the population feels lonely quite often. Younger people between 16 and 25 seem more prone to loneliness than older people do, although loneliness affects people of all ages, and the majority feels uncomfortable admitting it.
Feeling Alone and Lonely Are Door Openers
Feeling alone and lonely can motivate you to find a solution. You already know that some people seek being alone as a means of self-discovery and spiritual evolution. This tells you that being alone is not the source of the problem. Aloneness is actually a symptom of a foundational realization.
That is why I say that feeling alone and lonely are door openers. As you tune into those feelings you’ll discover there is a force within you that is blocking you and causing you to feel empty, isolated, and lonely.
Any one of these feelings is an indication of feeling alone and lonely.
- You feel discomfort at thinking about being left alone
- You crave connecting with others
- You are unable to find meaning in life
- You have an absence of feeling happy
- You are disappointed your relationships don’t fulfill you
- You feel numb inside
- You are unable to feel much of anything besides emptiness
- You shop for items to avoid the lonely feelings
- You often feel bored
- You feel like you just don’t fit in with others
- You feel the need to keep busy
Here is a list of some reasons that are not the true cause of feeling alone and lonely:
- I don’t have a relationship
- I can’t find love
- My friends are boring
- I hate my job
- No one wants to be my friend
- I lack money
How Being Alone Can Lead to Loneliness
This is what Krishnamurti said about this topic. “What a strange thing is loneliness, and how frightening it is! We never allow ourselves to get too close to it; and if by chance we do, we quickly run away from it. We will do anything to escape from loneliness, to cover it up. Our conscious and unconscious preoccupation seems to be to avoid it or to overcome it. Avoiding and overcoming loneliness are equally futile; though suppressed or neglected, the pain, the problem, is still there. You may lose yourself in a crowd, and yet be utterly lonely; you may be intensely active, but loneliness silently creeps upon you; put the book down, and it is there. Amusements and drinks cannot drown loneliness; you may temporarily evade it, but when the laughter and the effects of alcohol are over, the fear of loneliness returns.”
Most people feel lonesome from time to time when they are by themselves, but loneliness is deeper and follows you like a shadow.
Also, be aware that you may be feeling alone and lonely without a clear reason. Sometimes lonely feelings seem to arise out of nowhere, and it may pass after a little while. If it persists, you need to explore deeper.
What is the Deep Cause of Feeling Alone and Lonely?
You are more than a physical robot, and having a spiritual soul connection can remove the lonely feelings. When you are isolated from your soul, you’ll feel a disconnection and attempt to fill that lack with material pursuits.
This disconnection is often disguised as a relentless and elusive search for happiness. This leads to seeking more of everything to fill the vacancy of lack.
The majority of people do not have a deep integration with their soul and as a result feel something is missing. That is what drives people to acquire more. The ego-directed mind only knows to search in the physical realm for solutions and it concludes if it had more control, more connections, and more possessions, then it would feel more complete and fulfilled.
The obvious problem with this line of thinking is that it doesn’t work long term.
People who are driven for more of everything to fill their life are vain attempts to fill the lack they feel because of a soul disconnection. That is often the primary motivation people have to accumulate more money, power, control, possessions, relationships, fame, beauty, and knowledge. These are all things that drive the majority of people in a vain search for solutions.
Animals and very young children don’t usually exhibit signs of loneliness because they do not have a fully formed ego. As a result, they are able to be far more in the present moment than most adults are and don’t experience loneliness the way adults do.
No matter how your loneliness feels, your soul is ever present waiting for you to connect. The disconnection from your soul gives rise to the lonely feelings. When you are disconnected from your soul it is difficult to know where and how to find fulfillment and that leads people to relentlessly pursue physical things.
Pretty much everyone is brainwashed and conditioned to act in certain ways because since childhood, everyone is pressured to conform and fit into nice little boxes defined by parents, teachers, and society.
Because few were taught to look inward, most people live their lives in external pursuits; trying to fix their inner wounds with external distractions…always hoping the next possession or technique will solve their problems.
What is the difference between suppression and repression?
Suppression is actively and intentionally controlling and avoiding your reactions, while repression is similar to unconscious denial.
Of course, neither of these methods of diverting you from emotional pain are effective in the long run. Whatever is pushed out of your awareness will find other ways to surface.
Negative and painful patterns congest your lifeforce energy and over time will take a toll on your physical, mental, and emotional health. You may not notice these effects for a while but not forever.
What can happen is you get so used to feeling the way you do that you think it is normal. Well, it isn’t normal. In fact, it insulates you more and keeps you disconnected from your spiritual source that would alleviate your distress.
This is why you may have difficulty feeling or understanding your emotions and reactions. As a result, you end up feeling life is dull, listless, and unfulfilled.
Instead of being happy and fulfilled, you feel only mild enjoyment and satisfaction from relationships and activities.
What to Do When Feeling Alone and Lonely
1. Establish a Practice of Connecting with Your Heart and Soul
Connecting with your soul is not a practice many know how to do, but it is not difficult. Since your soul is your true self connecting with it and integrating it into your everyday life is a very natural process.
Obstacles to your soul connections are the length of time you have experienced feeling disconnected from the soul and how strongly you are invested in the external elements in your life.
It does take commitment over time to clear the way to dissolving the obstacles and establishing a new sustained soul-centered reality. I assure you any inconvenience the process might seem to be, is minor compared to the tangible results you will experience.
My Soul Discovery program will help you establish your spiritual and soul connections.
You need to explore what connecting with the “soul” feels like. When you are beginning this practice, you can be discouraged at not experiencing quick results, but if you are dedicated over weeks and months, you will succeed. Each time you apply yourself you will clear more obstacles and move closer to soul integration.
If you want me to help you personally, email me and we can set up some sessions in which I can accelerate your progress.
2. Be Relentless to Discover Solutions to Feeling Alone and Lonely
Anyone who has attained mastery in any area of life did so through dedication and persistence. The degree of your commitment will determine your degree of success.
Follow whatever positive topics inspire you. Whatever makes your heart sing is what your soul is leading you to pursue. Your path is uniquely yours to follow and your soul is your most trustworthy and effective guide. It will guide you from one thing to another, as you are ready for it to take you to your next level of evolution.
This is how to do it: Rest one hand over your heart center, close your eyes, and ask what your heart wants for you now. As you keep doing this over the coming months, you will find realizations and answers finding you.
If you don’t pursue soul connections, your issues of aloneness, unfulfillment, futility, and other ego-reactions will continue.
3. Acknowledge Your Feelings
The more you can identify and define what you feel, the more successful you will be at clearing what is blocking or negative.
Here is something most psychologists don’t know: Negative emotions can be substantially reduced and in many cases completely eliminated.
Conventional approaches to mental and emotional distress focus on coping methods or retraining the way the brain works through behavioral modification.
The enlightened perspective recognizes negative reactions are a product of a negative ego that runs off subtle-energy patterns that can be diminished and eventually removed.
For this later approach you first acknowledge, identify, and describe the emotions and underlying feelings of being blocked. Many people are not accustomed to doing this because our culture tells us to avoid, ignore, or suppress these components.
In the Star Trek series the Vulcans are taught to suppress their emotions and as a result are stoic and unfeeling. This is portrayed as a superior and more evolved approach. It is also grossly misinformed.
A reason this is valued is that many negative emotions such as fear, anger, and guilt are so strong and destructive. For those without understanding of subtle energies they are left with little options to choose from so they default to professionally endorsed drugs, coping techniques, or suppression. Those who try to solve the problem on their own typically turn to alcohol, arguments, or obsessive behaviors.
4. Acknowledge Your Reactions are Not Your True Self
Carl Sagan says in his book Contact: “You’re an interesting species. An interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.”
This common view that humans are a mix of positive and negative components and the solution lies in connecting with other people is precisely why most never solve this dilemma.
You may well experience negative reactions and feelings, but they are not your core nature. They are subtle-energy patterns you accumulated throughout your life, and the good news is they can be eliminated.
Once you clear these patterns you will feel like you always wanted to feel: happy, fulfilled, compete, and at peace. Those are characteristics of your soul or true self. Therefore, when you experience anything negative you can know that is not your soul.
When you declare something is not your truth, you disengage from it and the subtle patterns begin losing their ability to draw on your lifeforce energy to sustain themselves. They weaken and eventually disappear.
When your inner space is clear, you will feel comfortable with yourself no matter whom you are with or if you are alone.
5. Visualize Your Inner Truth
Another way to reconnect with your soul’s feelings of inner strength, empowerment, and connectedness is through visualization.
The easiest way to do this is in a meditative state in which you close your eyes and visualize the soul’s light in the center of your chest and radiating throughout your body and aura. Use the image of a golden ball of light about the size of a baseball projecting light all through you and around you.
Hold that image while affirming to yourself, “I feel the love and light of my soul.”
As you keep repeating that statement about every minute in a meditative state, you will begin to notice your energy starts to elevate. You’ll feel a warm glow and a radiant rise in your frequency into beautiful and peaceful states. You may not notice this shift the first several times you practice this, but if you keep at it, you will succeed.
Remember the main reason for negative emotions and loneliness is being disconnected from your very soul. As you begin reconnecting you’ll also begin shifting the way you experience life.
Additional Solutions to Feeling Alone and Lonely
1. Be patient with yourself.
After a few weeks of applying yourself you may not notice much difference. Remember it took you a lifetime to establish the way you feel and perceive so can take months before you rise to the level of mastery you aspire to.
Guard against becoming discouraged by still having negative feelings. Don’t beat yourself up over lapses or reverting to old reactions. That happens to everyone until you attain clarity.
Establish a schedule for yourself to practice clearing and raising your consciousness. It is best to pick a place and time that you can dedicate to your practice. Usually early morning or early evening work the best at helping you establish the habit.
2. Be Kind and Gentle With Yourself
When you are alone, or feeling alone, it is all too easy to fall into a trap of criticizing yourself. You might hear yourself repeating some self-talk that you are a looser, not enough, a mistake, or there is something critically wrong with you. The mind can be like a run away train catastrophizing you’ll never succeed.
Recognize these are just energy and voice recordings in your mind and you do not need to own them. In fact, quite the opposite, you can address them, command them to release, and replace them with a positive opposite statement.
For instance, if your mind says you will never succeed or have close relationships, refute that statement. Declare it is not true and is only an old program. Then replace it with a positive affirmation such as, “I am a kind, caring, and interesting person who deserves healthy friends.”
In the beginning of this practice, your own mind may contradict you and say it is not true. As you continue with this practice, however, you will gradually rewire the way your brain processes thoughts and the positive statements will work themselves into your subconscious mind and become part of your personality.
A particularly powerful way to reinforce positive affirmations is to state them while looking at yourself in a mirror. Stand in front of a mirror, take a couple of deep breaths, focus on your eyes, and repeat the positive affirmation aloud.
In the early stages of doing this, you may have some conflicting voices and responses from your own mind, but continue for several minutes and follow your affirmation with, “yes this is my truth.” This affirmation of your affirmation will help cement it into the depths of your mind until it becomes an accepted self-belief.
Spend 5-10 minutes doing this daily for at least 3 weeks or until you find the positive perspectives fully accepted even if it takes months.
My Radiate Warmth & Charisma program can help reinforce positive creative and attractive forces to enable you to be comfortable with others.
3. Make a Plan to Find Like-Minded People
Determine what topics you are most interested in and seek out groups and activities with those with like interests. First, you need to pick two or three areas of interest that spark a positive vibe in you. What activities do you think you can invest your time doing that bring you rewards.
For instance, if you love animals you can volunteer at an animal shelter. Alternatively, find some classes on animal care and training. Another consideration is exploring your creative side through art or music classes.
If you have a pet spend more time cuddling with the pet or consider getting a pet if you don’t have one. Cuddling releases happy hormones and can raise your mood. Local shelters usually have a good variety of pets from which to choose.
4. Work with Clearing Your Childhood Wounds
Most problems adults experience started, or were reinforced in childhood, and loneliness is included. Once you uncover the underlying beliefs about what happened, you can re-parent yourself and begin the healing process. This inner child lives on in your subconscious mind and is heavily influencing who you are today and your experience of life.
